So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
