allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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