You can't motorboat a personality
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
