and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize