Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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