Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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