I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
we're so committed to being not committed
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
