...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
