once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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