Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
