dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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