I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
