Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
