I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
