Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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