I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
