dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
