I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
