I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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