she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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