so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
