allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
