I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am midnight drunk by noon
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
