Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
