i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
