HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
