I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
