smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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