I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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