God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she smelled like a LAN party
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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