yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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