Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
