8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This girl is more easily done than said...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
