He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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