I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
