Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
