FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
