It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
