he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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