Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
