he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
