In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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