i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
