I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
