So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you never un-have a 4some
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
