just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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