Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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