He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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