id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
