the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
