I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
