Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
