I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize