Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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