ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
