hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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