Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
