and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
honey bunches of taint.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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