So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
