Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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