How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She's the barista slut.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You ate ashes out of my bong
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
