holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
