Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
