i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
