That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
