i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
