my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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