He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
