Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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