im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
