My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
