did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
