Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
