Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've blown a few things in my day
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just high enough for therapy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize