I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
