Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
