please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
