We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
