Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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