My hand turned me down
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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