The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize