Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
