Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
