Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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