I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
