ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
