I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
