Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
